Song: "In The Stillness"

Verse 1:
I've been waiting here in the stillness
I've been searching so long
For the strength

Bridge:
And you come to me
And you hold me
And you fill me, oh God

Chorus 1:
Your love is my portion
It's the fire I can run with
Your grace is the only miracle
I need to believe

Verse 2:
I see you standing there in the stillness
Open-armed,teary-eyed
You say, "Child,here I am"

(Bridge)

Chorus 2:
Your arms are my shelter
In your shadow I find rest
This peace so amazing
Passes all understanding

Verse 3:
Here I stand in my armor
Waiting for the battle
I can feel it,I can hear it
Like a calm before the storm

(Bridge)

Chorus 3:
Your truth is my compass
It's the light by which I see
Your blood won my healing
And the victory that I seek


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I was praying for a long time to God for a deeper revelation of His heart for worship and everything else. And in that,the ability to start putting music and words together to express that. I'm merely crossing the threshold really,yet He's empowered me to start experiencing more of His presence,His direction,His voice in my worship and through prayer. This is the first song I was able to put words to music,and music to words.

To Whom It May Concern...

I wanna write a song that says exactly how I feel
Something I could shout to let everything out

I wanna have a place where no one could hear me scream
A sound proof valley of solitude where I could walk til I find myself again

Right now theres more fulfillment in the thinking without the feeling
And dancing in the rain than simply looking through the windowpane

If only,if only...no I don't want to hear that now
No I don't want you to hold me...I want to walk the world awhile

I wish I could see it...my future...I know its right there
Why can't I see it? The next step's right in front of me...somewhere.

I wanna take every breath as something to cherish
I want the world to be perfect...in short,I'm kidding myself.

I have what it takes...at least thats what I like to think
Why does nothing seem to hold any purpose for me except what I cannot touch but only dream of?

You could never be the only thing to hold me up and carry me through the sky
I need to be able to use these wings I've grown. Time,please release me...please just let me fly.

I want out of this place called tension and apprehension.
Like a prison cell without the bars...because I see no light,my eyes are darkened.

I want to save the...wait,nevermind...what is there good to save right now?
Feelings,emotions,tears,a sore body,an aching heart,a bleeding spirit,a dying soul...who wants those?

Yes. I feel trapped and burdened. And...so...
The dust of despair is brushed over all my hopes.

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More than I'd like to admit, this is a mirror to the depths of my soul.
Perhaps its not a far cry to what everyone else feels as well, in the unspoken inner conversations. We learn though, painfully we learn, that God is stronger than we are...and He saves us just as our fragile hearts begin to crack. As our faith gives way,and the last bone in our body is about to break,but instead surrenders to the overwhelming desire to just let go and be held in brokenness by the only One who can repair us.

Song:"Heartbeat of Heroes"

Intro:
All the people passing by
Do they know?
All the people passing by
Can't they hear?
The winds of change
Can they feel it? Can you feel it?

Verse 1:
Sitting on a bench on main street
Thinking up reasons not to sing
He's writing up a list in his head
Of things he might do instead
Picks at the six strings
Maybe someone will hear

Chorus 1:
All the people passing by
Can they see?
All the people passing by
Will they hear?
He's waiting for the silence to speak
To all the people passing by(x2)

Verse 2:
She's making your cup of coffee
Service with a smile and a burning heart
You blow right back out the door
Never thinking she could be so much more

Chorus 2:
All the people passing by
Can they see?
all the people passing by
Do they know?
That she's searching for a love that sets her free
From all the people passing by(x2)

Give them that moment of truth
Without the lies
Be the courage that opens their eyes

Listen for the heartbeat of heroes

Song:"What Do You Want Me To Do?"

Verse 1:
God I'm here
What do you want me to do?
God I'm listening now
Is it too late to hear your voice?
I don't want to lose this time
I'll take a hard choice over a bad choice
What do you want me to do?

I feel alone God
Even if I know you're always with me
I'm standing here God
To show you I'm willing
To do what it takes,to give it all to you
What do you want me to do?

Chorus:
I raise my voice
I lift my head
My tears won't stop
My heart aches to know
What do you want me to do?

Verse 2:
God I'm shaking
I can't stand the weight of this world
God I'm quiet now
Please speak to me
What do you want me to do?
I'm willing and ready to fight

Bridge:
Let the rain fall
I won't move
Let the walls burn
I won't move
Let my heart break
I won't move
Until I feel you move

Alternate Chorus:
I hear a battlecry
I lift my sword high
My tears won't stop
My heart aches to do
What you want me to do
What do you want me to do?

Enemy At The Gates

Sit down restless soul,I have a story to tell
Wisdom hath knocked upon Justice's door
And plot to thrive against apathy's swell

Listen, for they shall speak of Truth
In the ears of the slumbering to wake them
The wind they shall petition to sing of it
The very oceans shall roar in melodious tides
So sweet shall it sound,but harsh

Take head, Oh wandering heart
Find thine burden here in silence
As the voices of discretion whisper
To thy deepest dreams, thus far, uninspired

Let not thine spirit be troubled
Yield thy soul to respond under its tension
For surrender thus to integrity it must
Else the beating of thine heart groweth cold

Hear the war-beat
The trails of the soldier now trodden upon
Harken to the clang of the anvil on hot metal
Come thence to the fire
Be put under the Welders hand
Render thyself and be made into magnificence

The sword of belief shalt thou become
A weapon of hope and undefeated malice
Against the darkness, against the lies

Be history
Be made whole
Awake and be made known
In the story of time and providence
Carve your name

The Enemy is at the gates
Arm thyself with strength and passion
Joy your strength,life your passion

The Enemy is at the gates
Surrender not

The Pursuit of Happiness:

What Is Happiness? Where Can It Be Found?

Happiness is a mixed emotion.

It is easy to fake happiness so I will make a distinction perhaps; I'll define (from my own perspective of course) shallow or immediate happiness and then true,deep happiness.

First,that instant-gratification sort of happiness. The one that comes out in a laugh or smile at a joke or a tickle,when you've escaped your life for the night at the pub or backroom,or ....maybe being wrapped up in the arms of someone you momentarily are expressing yummy feelings towards? Its that wreckless emotional,up and down sort of happiness. I have to explain that there is an innocent sort of this happiness...the naivety of a child growing into a teenager,not knowing what they will have to struggle for now.

I guess thats a good way to describe my next definition: true happiness. That free,blissful depth of joy that children dwell in. If thats not happiness,I don't know what is.
As people putting off childish things, we can't know that same happiness anymore. We aren't meant to, because we are supposed to grow up. So we should move into a different type of the same happiness: genuine surrender. Ok,I know what you're thinking...."What the heck? Thats not the answer I thought it'd be." Am I right? So genuine surrender...its the extent of humility. Surrender to what? Well first to God,the steward of all prosperity,hope,love,dreams,peace,and yes,happiness. And then to the just laws and authority He has placed in your life. That would include loving your neighbor as yourself.

I think the best source of happiness is relationships. Not just lovey-dovey. Thats not enough, though it's a vital part. I mean family, friends, pastors, leaders, teachers, younger generations, older generations, and most important?...you guessed it...God. When you are relating right to everyone around you and above you, you are surrounded by release. A release of happiness. Even in the times of trial, struggle, loss, failure, and grief. Every tear can be faced with joy. Not out of insanity and unreality, but in the reality of providence: that all things will work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. (P.S. That applies to everyone.)

Its so simple: Happiness is free-falling.
Not hindered,not unjust,nor foolish. It's trusting.

Happiness is letting go. It can be found in a willing heart,a sober mind,and an upright,courageous spirit.

Poem: "The House Of Innocence"

Remember the innocence
Like a house in which we used to live
We moved because we wanted to be big

The times of making whistles in the long grass
Digging our toes into wet sand
Playing cowboys and army
Ballerinas and horses

Definite security in our own imagination
What we thought was real,was real
And what we wanted to be would be

The castles in the sky
True loves kiss to wake the dead
Little boys fake machine guns noise
Lived to scare the girls away

Now we long to step onto that threshold
And to fit ourselves under the door
To play with our plastic kitchen play set
And only pretend about real blood and real war

To shout "I'm bulletproof,I'm invincible"
And really believe it once more
To hold hands with pure,friendly feelings
To blush at a kiss on the cheek
To giggle and laugh unencumbered
To run and not become weak
To believe in love again
To believe anything again

O, to be young
O, to sit on daddy's lap
To be eager to learn and ask silly questions
When "I'm sorry" and a hug meant forgive and forget

There's not a point in our lives
We won't forget
The house in which we used to live
The house of innocence