Happy Birthday,Aine!

Unfortunately,I haven't had lots of time to spend with my lovely new camera. Yep,I got the one I talked about!! Its beautiful...and has lots
of new buttons/
settings to learn.
I wanted to try some
sunlight photos yesterday
so I grabbed my little
sister, Aine for about 15 or 20
minutes as the sun was setting.
Though the "session" was pretty fast I was satisfied with the shots I got. Hurray for spontaneity!
It's Aine's 12th birthday today! My little girl is growing up so fast!*tear/sigh*
I hope she knows how truly beautiful she is.

Put Thou My Tears Into Thy Bottle (Psalm 56:8)

I have cried, thus far, a thousand tears
In mere minutes, I have emptied every ocean upon my face
You once promised me well with kisses
You once held me and swayed away my fears
Where are you now? I cannot feel you.

I cannot go on without another glimpse
Your face has faded from my reddened eyes
I can only mumble,with quivering lips
Will my faint prayer reach your ears?
Will you hear me from such a distance?

I whimper and sigh in silent resolution
You must care for me no longer
You must think of me no more
You have forgotten!

I look down upon the floor into which I have wept
Where there should have been a puddle there was nothing left

Have my tears also left me?
Am I truly all alone?
Even pain will not keep me company
Or misery call me his own

In this quiet, lonely place I hear a whisper,
Coming in soft and sweet:
"I have not left you. I have not strayed.
How could I stay away from one I love so dearly?
Cry no more tears,for I am tired...
All along,I have secured them in a bottle, to be sent on angel's wings
And be poured into Heaven's river with other tears of saints."

My arms find new strength and I toss them around His neck
Even in my struggle, because of Him, I am blessed
Every moment He is with me, every broken prayer is heard
His loving gaze tells me of my worth
For to Him I am priceless and my tears are like diamonds

Oh Lord,Glory rises from ashes and I am forever yours.

New Camera

So...the plan is in the works: getting a spiffy DSLR (the nice ones with all the lenses). Very exciting! And then I'll post all sorts of fun pictures ALL THE TIME.
I know you are just so happy,right?
It's a Canon Rebel XSi.
Here's a view for you:

Ten Years To The Day...

On March 25,1999...I was run over by our old blue 4x4 suburban,across the stomach.
My 4-year-old brother Brian was playing with the gears and accidentally put the car in neutral on a hillside. We started to roll backwards. I tried the gears but to no avail...I didn't know how to stop it. The only thing I could think of was,'go get mom'.I opened the door and jumped but the car door caught me first, hitting the backside of my head and knocking me under the wheel. My mom and other brother, Sean were just in time to see it happen--in fact,Mom told me that she saw a bright white glow over me,like an angel. I should have died on impact. Instead, God miraculously saved my life...the doctor's didn't even believe the story! I was taken to the local hospital and then flown to a bigger one for more extensive scans and x-rays in Spokane. I walked (though ever so stiffly)out of that hospital three days later with nothing more than a broken collar bone and a minor concussion where the door hit my head,plus a whole lot of stuffed animals and the movie Hercules! It is often hard for me to understand why God saved me,especially on those days when I just feel so useless and pitiful,but I must trust Him that He has a plan and a purpose for it--if nothing more than sharing that testimony of His love and grace on me and my family. So today and forever I give Him praise for my life, every breath and every dream. Always endeavoring to give Him glory in everything I do.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future."--Jeremiah 29:11

Faith vs. Fear

For the past few weeks, I've been troubled to find anything to write about, whether on here or on paper. I can't even tell you the countless,agonizing times that I've sat down and stretched my fingers out over the keys to type...and nothing came. Or was it that I was trying so hard to push away what I was really thinking about that I had nothing left to ponder or relate?
This new year is scary to me,possessively scary. I've searched for the guts and the hope to go through this next season...dug inside, long and hard and deep. Something inside me longs for a rescuing from my fears and my expectations. But I can't hide from them or ignore them.
The last two years were not easy either, but they were significantly less daunting compared to this. More so because of revelations of where my country really is in moral and physical terms,what will now be expected of me as a coming-on 18 year old,and the inevitability of possible situations to come my way (including dreams coming true).
This isn't a doomsday article. I'm not completely pessimistic. I've just been trying my best to see reality--the real deal--to lift the veil of insecurity and lack of faith off of my eyes and really catch a glimpse of the future, however overwhelming or intimidating it may seem. And in that,always learning to trust more in God as my security in such uncertain times.
I pray we can all face our fears as more than an act of the will,but an act of faith.


"Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death"--James F. Bymes

"Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom."
--Marilyn Ferguson

New Auntie!

Yes it is true. My brother(Sean)and his beautiful wife(Yvette)are to have their first child,my first niece/nephew! They are very excited,as can be expected :)
Please pray she has a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy. Cheers.

Bartok The Magnificent: A Ponderment

I caught a short segment of this movie the kids were watching earlier: Bartok the Magnificent (aka the story about the white bat from Anastasia). And over the course of it this witch gives him a special potion which will make him to be 10 times on the outside what he is on the inside.
I got to thinking...what would I become if I took that potion?
It's quite the soul-searching question. Who are you in your "heart of hearts"?

[Luke 6:45] "A good man out of the treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh."

[Psalm 139:23-24] "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way."

What's Your Word?

Your Word is "Fearless"

You see life as your one chance to experience everything, and you just go for it! You believe the biggest risk is being afraid and missing out on something amazing. Sometimes your fearlessness means you're daring. You enjoy risky activities. And sometimes your fearlessness means you're courageous. You're brave enough to do the right thing, even when it's scary.

What's Your Word?

A little plug for one of my favorite sites.
Fun,easy,quick,relevant tests...especially when you're bored(study groupers--you know what I'm talking about!)
By the way,this is my word!

[[IMPAVIDUS]]Fearless

The Woman Who Understands

This is a wonderful poem. I may go so far to say it is my favorite,next to "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It speaks to the very essence of a true woman's heart,and her capabilities in relation to men in their lives.

Somewhere she waits,to make you win,your soul in her firm,white hands--
Somewhere God has made for you, the Woman Who Understands!

As the tide went out she found him
Lashed to a spar of Despair,
The wreck of his ship around him--
The wreck of his dreams in the air;
Found him and loved him and gathered
The soul of him close to her heart--
The soul that had sailed unchartered sea.
The soul that had sought to win and be free--
The soul of which she was part!
And there in the dusk she cried to the man,
"Win your battle-you can,you can!"

Broken by Fate, unrelenting
Scarred by the lashings of chance:
Bitter his heart-unrepenting--
Hardened by circumstance:
Shadowed by failure ever,
Cursing, he would have died,
But the touch of her hand, her strong warm hand,
And her love of his soul, took full command
Just at the turn of the tide!
Standing beside him, filled with trust,
"Win!" She whispered,"you must,you must!"

Helping and loving and guiding
Urging when that were best,
Holding her fears in hiding
Deep in her quiet breast;
This is the woman who kept him
True to his standards lost,
When tossed in the storm and stress of strife,
He thought himself through with the game of life
And ready to pay the cost,
Watching and guarding, whispering still
"Win you can-and you will,you will!"

This is the story of the ages
This is the woman's way;
Wiser than seers or sages
Lifting us day by day;
Facing all things with a courage
Nothing can daunt or dim,
Treading life's path, wherever it leads--
Lined with flowers or choked with weeds,
But ever with him--with him!
Guidon-comrade-golden spur
The men who win are helped by her!

Somewhere she waits, strong in belief, your soul in her firm,white hands:
Thank well the Lord, when she comes to you,
The Woman Who Understands!

~Everard Jack Appleton

Speaking of 33...

I had a total of 33 posts in 2008.
How cool is that!?
I also woke up precisely at 3:33am this morning (ugh!)
....and that is when I wrote this song,the first one of the year!

"Soon Enough, My Love"

Verse 1:
Soon enough you'll smile and my whole world will change
Soon enough you'll woo and win this heart within
Soon enough you'll ask me for my hand
Soon enough,my love,soon enough

Chorus 1:
And soon enough won't seem soon enough to us
We'll say no one's ever been this in love
We'll watch our dreams come true day by day
Soon enough,my love,soon enough

Verse 2:
Soon enough I'll be in your arms for good
Soon enough I'll change my last name to yours
Soon enough my dad will walk me down the aisle
Soon enough,my love,soon enough

Chorus 2:
And soon enough will be beautiful to us
Soon enough, just the two if us, alone
Soon enough we'll make ourselves a home
Soon enough,my love,soon enough

Bridge:
Soon enough we'll have children of our own
Soon enough they'll be all grown
Soon enough they'll find lovers of their own

Chorus 3:
And soon enough will seem too soon for us
To have to let them go
Soon enough, just the two of us, alone
Soon enough, my love, soon enough

Verse 4:
Soon enough our hair will turn gray
Things of the past will fade away
Together we'll meet Jesus face to face
Soon enough,my love,soon enough(x2)

End: 1st line of 1st verse

God's Faithfulness To Hear And Respond [Jeremiah 33:3]

Mkay,cool thing...
My favorite number is three. More specifically it is 33.
I was listening to the radio on Air1 and they shared this "verse of the day":

Jeremiah 33:3-"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things(secrets), which thou knowest not."

We need to be reminded of God's faithfulness to answer our prayers and of His love of sharing secrets with us. Usually our prayers are not answered exactly as we had imagined, but exactly how they should.
Patience is a roadblock here,as far as waiting on God's timing for an answer. More than that, our own preconceived ideas can blind us from seeing God's movement, putting things in motion, long before we realize He has replied to us!

Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness to respond to our heart's cry...for making a way for us to have direct contact with you through your Son, and for giving us the desires of our hearts,the answer to prayer,when we are pliable and obedient to your ways[Ps. 37:4].

Am I Really A Hopeless Romantic?

For a very long time I rejected the idea of being a "hopeless romantic".
Hindsight being what it is,I realize it was more than the idea of it,but the connotation it presents.
Hopelessness to me is like a poisonous plant or a boa constrictor...I recoil at the very thought of it.
I can't be hopeless,it is just not in me. So, from my principled and beautiful aspirations for romance, I detach any desperation or discouragement.
Why resort to hopeless despair for true love in your life? Why purposefully suffer from stinging nettles or poison oak? Why be choked off from life by a devilish snake wound around your dreams,your heart,your soul? Numbing yourself against longing,against the ache for pure intentions,eternal fidelity,and sweet adoration. No longer dreaming for what truly could be yours, in time. Men not fighting to protect and honor women,and women not asking, or rather expecting that from men. Have we sunk so low?
So many of these choices to (in all honesty) give up on the concepts of chivalry,valor,unity,and affection,I think,equate to impatience. Simply being obedient to develop patience makes finding the love of your life so much sweeter and exciting, so much more meaningful, and so worth waiting for.
Unfortunately those who don't have an active relationship with God are at a disadvantage in all areas of progress,and most certainly in love and relationships. Because we are to always put Him first and stride with Him as companion,father,and lover...that is where our commitment and trust must be grounded,where we build from. Everything is bound to fall into place after that,including who we are meant to spend our lives with.

Thus,if I may be so forward as to label my own person, I hereby pronounce myself a hopeful romantic: In wonder and anticipation of future love,steady in spirit,patient in progress.
I ask of you to join me. We have given up too much ground on the battlefield for love. Let us be forcefully offensive in retrieving broken hearts from the clutches of our adversary.

[[amor victum totus, quoniam Amor victum totus]]